The other day, I came across my New Year’s Resolutions 2018. I put together 12 goals, 7 about my personal life and 5 about work. Reading through, I realised that I achieved only 3 goals out of 12. I did get better at controlling my anxiety, I learned a lot about self-care and I have been making an afford to reach out to my friends more frequently. Not an easy task while you have depression and social anxiety, but I managed to do it.
|get into running again
take care for me more
be a better gf for Seun
develop the blog
reach out to my friends more
|be more productive
have fewer distractions
be more professional in the lab
be in the process of having a publication
be more social in the work environment
For the rest, I didn’t achieve much and I failed miserably with some of them, like getting into running again, be more professional and social at work or being a good girlfriend. That was my first thought.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of not acknowledging your success. Over the last 12 months, my life changed upside down. And I really mean it. I had to take important decisions, made important steps forward as scientists and with my mental health. Things changed quickly and unexpectedly and I had to come up with a different strategy all the time. I realised that some of the goals weren’t really mine but what it was expected from me to do. And, finally, I did achieve a lot in different directions. My blog didn’t get the success that I wanted but I launched an Etsy shop instead which is already making money. Not bad within only 20 days.
However, I did have a huge reflection on what went wrong, such as having fewer distractions at work and being more professional. Why didn’t I achieve such goals? With the help of my Instagram community, particularly some tutorials from Her Stem Story, I manage to rewrite a better plan for the future.
I chose four areas that I wanted to work on for next year and applied the following criteria to set my goals.
1. Make a plan rather than write a statement! Example, “I want to lose weight” (BTW I don’t) means nothing if you don’t have a plan of action. How do you want to achieve this? Which changes are you gonna bring into your life? For example, I want to be more productive at work! How am I gonna do this? Switch off social media from 9 to 5? Work longer hours? Work smarter than harder?
New Year’s resolutions are just nice taking if you don’t come up with a plan of action.
2. Assess your goals every month. Did you notice any progress? If not, which changes are you willing to make? But MOST IMPORTANTLY, don’t beat yourself if you aren’t satisfied or achieved less than you planned. Failure doesn’t exist, we can only learn from mistakes and make better decisions for the future.
Assess monlthy wheter you are making progress
The summary of this post and my New Year’s Resolution can be found below:
Social media management: This is a huge part of my life as I want to grow my influence and monetise my social media platforms. However, I get a lot distracted and I decide to limit my time using apps to block social accounts and don’t bring my phone in the lab anymore.
PhD: Huge resolution as this is my last year and I have to start writing up soon. I have come to understand that I won’t graduate with a cracking thesis and amazing results, which is okay. I am happy with my training and what I have learned so far. I will read a paper every day and start writing my introduction and the experimental section over weekends. I struggle a lot with socialising at work too, I am a loner and I am not particularly keen on following rules. This is okay too. I don’t have to be friends with my colleagues, just have professional and civilised interactions on the doing in the lab and about chemistry. That’s it.
Self-care: Practise meditation and mindfulness every day. Do yoga, light up candles, warm baths, do reflective/meditative walks etc.
Social life: I really suck at socialising, I am slowly healing from social anxiety and interactions with people aren’t my forth. However, I do need to make a bit more afford with people. This doesn’t mean I have to go to all the parties or go out every weekend, I am talking about meaningful relationships and conversations. I will go out once a month for a proper going out, restart taking bachata or salsa classes and reach out to my friends more often.
What about you? What’s on the making for your next and exciting new year?