31 and still counting – happy birthday to me!

Today, Jun 6th marks the end of my glorious holiday! If you read my latest blog article, you would know that May hasn’t been a great month, not physically nor mentally. I was in so much need of a holiday and take a break from a dreadful winter spent half on the sofa because of lockdown and the other half in bed because of my mental health.

For the special occasion, the weather was glorious and the last 10 days were filled with beaches, sunshine, good food, wine and visiting all the castles in this area. This week also marks the last few days of my 30s. I am going to turn 31 next Tuesday. I have this habit of looking back at the past and see what has happened. Not because I ruminate about it or want to change. I think it’s actually a good thing to sit down and take the time to evaluate your progress. One of my fave quotes from V. Wolf says that we don’t have a complete understanding of the present but only about the past. I guess it’s because we look back at the past with a more rational mind whereas we act more based on feeling and sensations in a given moment.

Like many people, I also have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish by the age of 30. I probably ticked only a couple of boxes. I didn’t manage to buy a house, I have a crappy car, I am still using the same laptop which I bought 6 years ago, my phone is the same one my ex-boyfriend gave me 3 years ago and the list goes on. There are a lot more things I wish I had but I don’t.

I was trying to measure myself using someone else’s criteria of success!

Masha – @codingblonde

I don’t have many material things and I am still trying to figure out what I want in life. In fact, I am nowhere near where I want to be professionally and in my personal life. But this doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy the present while I embrace the journey. I try to live with purpose and intention every day. I don’t make this up because it’s good for marketing and nice talking. I wake up and I make a list of the things I want to achieve in a day every single day before going to work. I’ve been getting more ambitious recently and, with the help of weekly planners, I try to organise and give a meaning to every week too. I have a blog article about this if you are interested in reading more.

You’re allowed to change your path from the life you imagined/planned at 18 yo!

Dr Nika Larian

One of the reasons for my success is that I have a vision and I work every day towards that vision. If you don’t have a vision of where you’re going or what you want to achieve, it’s like being on a boat carried away by the tides with no way of knowing the final destination. You live life floating around just existing rather than living. The other revelation of this year, which it does feel like I haven’t achieved anything because it was so slow and felt like a million ones, is that success isn’t linear. Actually, on a daily basis, it seems like there’s no progress at all. A lot of people get upset after one mistake or confuse the boredom and monotony of everyday life with being average or failing.

Not having a vision and accepting societal stereotypes set you up for a life of unhappiness and frustration!

This birthday also marked one year since I rebranded my social media pages. I talk about this because my constant evolution is the reason why I kept my website in the first place. I wanted it to manifest the new version of myself, although back then, I had no idea of what my future version would look like. That was one of the best things I did for myself not only because it allowed me to evolve but also brought a brand new perspective into my life. And I desperately needed a bit of fresh air. In fact, the important mental shift of my 30 yo was that outside my perspective and the one of those who think alike, a lot more views exist. I don’t necessarily have to agree with everyone, but listening to and hearing diverse opinions has definitely opened my mind and made me a lot more empathetic and tolerant than ever before.

If you live life based on your perspective (and those who think alike), it’s like living with your face squared on a wall!

The handmade’s tale

To conclude, this past week has been dense of reading so I am going to make a couple of book recommendation:

Half of a yellow sun by C. Ngozi Adichie

Conjure women by Afia Atakora

Circe by M. Miller

The silent companios by L. Purcell

DISCLAIMER: All pictures in this article are my own and were taken at Dover Castle. The article does not contain affiliates links.

Hike from Kingsdown to Saint Margaret at Cliffe

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