Absolutely nobody: “I can’t believe it’s the end of the year! Where is time gone?”
Me: “I do, I worked more hours than I wanted to, missed night sleep, cried, picked my own tears, bought more boxes of antidepressants than ever before! 2021 felt like 5 years long!” The featured image was kindly provided by English Heritage, then all photos and unpopular opinions are my own!
Honestly, if I look back at January 2021, I could have envisaged nothing that would come in the following 12 months, at all. After 2020, all I wanted was hope for a better future and living a normal life. Despite positive news of covid vaccine, it was hard to believe it because we still spent the first 6 months of the year in lockdown. To say that it was mentally, emotionally, physically exhausting was an understatement. My mental health was so poor that I had to drag myself to work every single day questioning whether it was worth 10 times a day every day!
Still the same woman with the same name but a different mindset and growth game!
Bossbabe.inc
I so desperately wanted to move and do differently! I did wonder what that meant to me, what person I would become as an adult. I knew I didn’t need any more entry in my success list because I mean what else is there to achieve by the age of 30 that I haven’t done already? I became a doctor, I am financially independent, able to make decisions on my own calculating risks and consequences and landed a well-paid job. Then just today, I listened to an postcard episode from Kenzie Brenna and I knew exactly what I did right this year! Here the link!
A lot of people seek achievements as form of validation and fail to understand that fulfilment is an internal job!
Conversation with Kenzie
Far too many people think of professional achievements as the only means of success. Truth is that if you don’t mature emotionally, outgrow situations and evolve through life, you’ll never be content! No wonder why so many people who seem to have everything are still unsatisfied! I’ve been reflecting on how society confuses career progression as a form of self-development but in fact how you perform at your job might have nothing to do with your personal growth! I’ve seen this too many times in the academic environments I gravitated toward in the past 10 years! Most academic have superior rational intelligence but when it comes to dealing with people, they have the maturity of a spoiled 5yo kid!
With the internet democratising knowledge and making it more accessible and available to everyone, we all learn how rational intelligence might not equate emotional intelligence. The ability to understand feelings and emotions, your own and others’ is the skill of the future. Self-awareness, setting boundaries, reading a room, empathy have nothing to do with how many degrees you have. This is my biggest learning lessons of the year, I believe. My confidence, personal relationships, understanding my needs, communicating them assertively are lifelong skills that I’m glad I learnt at the age of 30!
I’m my own university!
Me
The personal growth contributed massively to my career growth! I no longer suffer from impostor syndrome. I don’t need someone else’s approval to know I do a good job. I’m pretty F good at what I do and it’s just a fact! #IdontMeanToBrag. The other day my boss teased me by saying “Teresa, please do something wrong, no one will believe that you haven’t received any negative feedback on your work this year!” I’m not sure why I always lived by seeking constant validation for my work, decisions or every word I say! Within reason of course, constructive feedback is still important and peer reviewing is the pillar of science. But everything with a pinch of salt!
I’m f good at what I do and it’s just a fact!
Me!
Adding to the emotional intelligence part, I no longer get pissed off when people snap at me or call me a bitch. I’m not responsible of how people see, perceive, think of me, all I can deal with is how I get affected/respond to external factors. Plus, someone being a absolute arse to me has nothing to do with me or how I act, they’re just projecting their own trauma in to me! #ReadTheRoom
Killing in the lab
I made this small vision board back in May to help me visualising my objectives of the year! My professional development has been bigger than ever before, I’m 100% confident in my skills and knowledge, have clear plans on how to move forward and how I see myself in the future. In the past year, I created new protocols, optimised methods, proposed solutions to challenging problems, learned how to fix instruments. I’m sad I can’t talk specifically about this because my work is confidential but I did find a way to do science communication again! Stay tuned
Working on my brand
I think I don’t much to convince anyone about this. I closed brand deals, sponsored products, launched my own workshop and merch collection this year only. Followed by the grand finale of Me and Women transforming science making it into the news!
Personal growth
I kept this last because personal growth was the biggest achievement of all this year. And I think I made it pretty much clear in the entire article. It’s fair to say I had to construct every single part of my identity, learning about myself, letting it go of self-limiting beliefs, unlearning stereotypes, accepting that it was okay for me to follow a different path than it’s traditionally accepted and expected for women. I worked tirelessly and effortlessly on constantly improving myself and evolving to become my best version! I read a lot of books to bring other people’s perspectives into my life and broaden my horizon outside feminism and women in science only. This is a never ending journey and I couldn’t be any happier for embracing it at such a very early stage of my life!
See you soon. I still haven’t finished with the reflection on this successful year!
Teresa Ambrosio Consulting 