New year, new anxiety to succeed!

Yoohoo! This is the first post of 2022, the first of a long series. I’m so excited for this new year and I feel very much rejuvenated and renewed after 3 weeks spent in Italy, the longest break I had since Jan 2020. I started my employment in March 2020 when we all know what happened and the rest made history. All pictures are sunrise shot I took from my flat, they are all mine as well as all unpopular opinions!

Last year went extremely well despite I spent the first 6 months in lockdown. I honestly didn’t think it was going to be any good considering the suffocating covid restrictions and my poor mental health. I’m glad I was proved wrong because, from June onwards, I started collecting trophies one after the other. I’m happy with that but the trophy didn’t change the opinion I have about myself. It’s nice to be praised but it’s also a dangerous place to be. Living life based on the expectations of others and seeking continuous external validation is a recipe for dissatisfaction and unhappiness in pretty much guaranteed.

I didn’t think the year was going to be successful because my mental health was extremely poor!

My own

This year started with loads of anxiety and trying to make plans to be as productive and successful as I was in 2021. I started making comparisons and didn’t want to feel like I would undeliver at work, disappoint people, destroy the few relationships I managed to make and reverse the good habits I created at the end of last year!

Deal seafront at down

I pledge to read 50 books this year. Last year was the year of fiction, but with all the things I have going on, it seems hard to read a 300/400 page book every week. I made the annual subscription to Scribd so that I can listen to heavy science books and I decided to read more poetry. That put off a lot of weight out of my shoulders because I can listen to a book while doing the chores, I love multitasking not only at work but also on every day life situations. Time management queen forever! More at the end!

You don’t need more time, just upgrade your time management skills!

Me

The most anxiety of all was with my job, the first day in, I got some unexpected results, and I started panicking. I felt like an incompetent, an imposter and like I was disappointing everyone around me! The truth is that it took a bit of time to readjust from laziness to reality, not only my job but also the chores, audult life commitments. And dealing with covid, which is pretty much a reality around here, as it is everywhere I suppose, is a nightmare. I spent the entire Christmas time being extremely careful, barely going out, distancing and avoiding physical contact. My worst nightmare was to get infected before travelling. I even stopped going to the gym in December. Until I decided I can live like this no more.

A word on shaming others

I think it was naive and non-realistic to draw conclusions about an entire year based on what happened during its first week. You might not have started the healthy eating plan, skipped the gym sessions, got covid, not committed to dry January. It’s fair enough, any time is a good time to start something new and failure is part of the journey. You and I have still an entire year to crack it. And fuck it, perfection does not exist, keep making mistakes, procrastinating, subscribing to laziness and binging on Netflix because we’re all humans. Do not compare the boredom and monotony of your normal life to someone else showing off on Instagram!

You all, I’ll keep you posted on my future success or the lack of. Goodbye!

Every day is a new sunrise and you’re allowed to start again!

Susanna Harris, PhD
A useful guide on how to spend time purposely
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