On Christmas day of 2022, I got inspiration to write up this blog post. I started my new role in May and used all my annual leaves to visit my family last summer. I had no days off left, so I had to work until the 23rd and decided to spend Christmas in Cardiff. Nor that I complain about it. It’s been beautiful to spend time in this city I came to call home, reconnecting with myself and taking care of my mental health.
I’ve been spending time with my chosen family, friends I met since May who welcomed me into their life as if I had always been there. I’ve never been great at keeping friends and lots of people moved in and out from my life in a heartbeat. This new experience in Cardiff, trying to build my life from scratch, taught me that nothing should be taken for granted, especially friends. Relationships are everyday tasks that need to be cultivated and fuelled every single day. It’s a bilateral and mutual agreement between people to be there for each other and contribute equally to it
Anything in life, especially relationships shouldn’t be taken for granted!Me
I met and reconnected with new and old people and every single experience taught me something new. I realised how my way of communication can be hostile or hurt people’s feelings. I’ve been changing to a more empathetic style trying to be mindful and considering people’s emotions a lot more when I deliver messages. I know this might sound silly or naive, but it isn’t obvious to me. I have 0 empathy and been coming from years and years and years of social anxiety. I had (still have) no clue of what’s a decent approach to maintaining relationships.
Thanks to my social anxiety for having 0 empathy!Me
I’ve been working extremely hard to be more open and showing up for my friends more. I communicate my feelings and struggle without blaming. One of the most important conversations I had with my therapist was to rephrase how I communicate my emotions. No one can make me feel this way or the other way, I react to the situation, I take decisions based on stimuli I receive. Just the rephrasing put me in control of my own emotions and the way I respond to situations. I can handle difficult conversations better, acknowledging my mistakes, other people’s perspectives. I don’t get it right 100% of the time but it’s good to acknowledge progress.
Slow progress is better than no progress. Always in any caseMe
I don’t know what the future holds and I have no resolutions for next year, my vision board is blank and I will welcome any new opportunity and experience as it comes. The headlines of new year will be
- Every day is a school day
- Friends, money, job should not be taken for granted
- Progress every day
- Read 30 books
- Sign up at the gym again
- Continue my journey of spiritual, personal and professional growth
And all of the above will be in this city I came to call home: beautiful Caerdydd.